There's a Bear in My Bathtub
By Kathy Warnes
Cast
Mrs. Bear
Wilbur Bear
Cindy
Jimmy
Mrs. Green
Mr. Green
(Mother Bear stands in front of Wilbur Bear who is standing in the corner. She shakes her paw at him.)
MOTHER BEAR
Wilbur, you are a naughty little bear. You got mud all over your clothes and your arms and your legs again! You stand in the time out corner and think about it!
WILBUR BEAR
I’ll stay out of the mud, Mama. I promise.
MOTHER BEAR
If you keep your promise you can go out and play.
(Wilbur runs off and meets Cindy and Jimmy who are sitting outside playing)
CINDY
I’m bored, Jimmy. I’m so tired of playing with dolls and doll dishes.
JIMMY
We could play a game of tag.
CINDY
With just two of us? That won’t be very much fun. If we had somebody else to play with us, we could have a fun game of tag.
WILBUR
(Walking over to them)
I’ll play tag with you.
CINDY
You will? Okay, let’s play tag!
JIMMY
Let’s start right now. (He tags Cindy.) You’re it!
CINDY
Hey, that’s not fair. I was still home free.
JIMMY
Too bad. You’re it!
CINDY
Oh, all right.
(She starts chasing Wilbur around and catches him without too much trouble.)
CINDY
Tag! You’re it, Wilbur!
WILBUR
I can’t run as fast as you can, but I’ll try.
(He chases Cindy and Jimmy around but he doesn’t catch them. He runs after them and while he’s running he trips and falls flat on his face.)
WILBUR
Oooof! I fell right in this mud puddle. (He starts to cry) My mother’s going to put me in the time out corner forever. (He cries louder. Cindy and Jimmy try to comfort him.)
CINDY
Maybe she won’t get mad at you, Wilbur.
JIMMY
You can tell her it’s our fault. We’re the ones that asked you to play tag.
CINDY
Tell her it’s my fault. I’m the one who tagged you.
WILBUR
(Sniffing) She won’t listen to me. Look at how dirty and muddy I am.
CINDY
Can’t you take a bath before you go home?
WILBUR
The creek’s so collddd!
JIMMY
Why don’t you come over to my house and take a bath?
CINDY
What will your mom and dad say?
JIMMY
They’re not home right now.
CINDY
Let’s go.
JIMMY
We can go upstairs and Wilbur can take his bath without anybody knowing but us.
WILBUR
Thank you a thousand, million times! (He hugs Jimmy)
JIMMY
Let’s go Wilbur. We don’t have too much time before they get home.
SCENE II
(Wilbur, Cindy, and Jimmy are standing around a big cardboard bathtub)
WILBUR
Wow! What a giant sized bath tub!
JIMMY
It’s big enough to hold my dad.
CINDY
Hurry up and get in, Wilbur.
WILBUR
(Climbing into the bathtub) Ohh, that feels good. The water’s warm and there aren’t any fish ticking my toes!
CINDY
Here’s a wash rag. Can we watch you take a bath, Wilbur? I never saw a bear take a bath before.
JIMMY
Hurry up, will you? Mom and Dad will be here any minute.
WILBUR
Will you wash my back, Jimmy?
JIMMY
Sure Wilbur. (He picks up a giant sized bath brush and scrubs Wilbur’s back.)
WILBUR
Hee, hee, hee, that tickles.
CINDY
You look so funny, Wilbur.
JIMMY
Hurry up, Wilbur. Finish washing. My folks will be coming.
(Jimmy’s mother and father come in at the corner of the stage)
MRS. GREEN
Jimmy, we’re home.
MR. GREEN
Jimmy, where are you?
JIMMY
Oh, no! Be quiet you guys. It’s my Mom and Dad.
(Shouting) I’m up here taking a bath. I’ll be down in a few minutes.
MR. GREEN
Take a thorough bath.
MRS. GREEN
Jimmy, I’m surprised at you. You’ve never taken a bath willingly before. I usually have to force you into the bathtub.
JIMMY
I was awfully dirty, Mom.
MRS. GREEN
Wash well, Jimmy.
JIMMY
I’m washing, Mom.
(Mr. and Mrs. Brown sit in chairs in the corner of the room with their backs to Jimmy, Cindy, and Wilbur. They watch a cardboard TV)
MR. GREEN
Here’s the program we wanted to see. It’s just starting.
MRS. GREEN
Good. (They settle down and watch T.V.)
JIMMY
Hurry, Wilbur. Get out of the tub.
WILBUR
I’m coming.
CINDY
(Whispering) What are we going to do?
JIMMY
We’re going to sneak him down the stairs and out of the front door.
CINDY
How can we do that without your Mom and Dad seeing us?
JIMMY
I don’t know, but we have too. You know what will happen if we caught up here.
(Wilbur climbs out of the tub and dries off with a towel. He pulls on a pair of overalls.)
WILBUR
I’m all ready to go.
JIMMY
Wilbur, tiptoe! Whatever you do, don’t make any noise.
WILBUR
I’ll try not to make any noise.
CINDY
Let’s go.
(They tiptoe across the room door about even with where Mr. and Mrs. Green are. They start to tiptoe past them, but suddenly Mrs. Green turns around. Wilbur, Jimmy, and cindy all duck behind a cardboard box.)
MRS. GREEN
Jimmy, are you finished yet?
JIMMY
I’m drying off, Mom.
MRS. GREEN
Well, hurry up. This is a good television program.
JIMMY
I’m hurrying, Mom.
(Mrs. Green turns back to the television.) Jimmy, Wilbur, and Cindy tiptoe again. They are about to the front door when suddenly Wilbur has to sneeze.)
WILBUR
Aahahahacohoo!
CINDY
(Putting her hand over Wilbur’s nose.) Quit it, Wilbur.
WILBUR
(Whispering) But I have to sneeze. Ah,ah,aha,ah,ah, CHOOOOO!!!
(Mr. and Mrs. Green jump and turn around. Cindy and Wilbur run to the front door and crouch down behind it. Jimmy stays in the middle of the floor and pretends that he is the one who sneezed.)
MRS. GREEN
Jimmy, are you catching cold?
JIMMY
ACHOOOO! I don’t think so, Mom. Something was tickling my nose.
MR. GREEN
Come and watch this program. You said you wanted to see it.
JIMMY
I’m coming. I think I’ll close the front door first. It’s getting cold in here.
MRS. GREEN
That’s a good idea, Jimmy.
(Jimmy goes over to the front door. He opens it for Wilbur and Cindy.)
JIMMY
(Whispering) Hurry up before they turn around again.
CINDY
(Whispering) See you tomorrow.
WILBUR
(Whispering) I’ll come back tomorrow, too.
JIMMY
Good. See your tomorrow.
WILBUR
Uh, uh, I have to sneeze again. AAACHOOOOO!
JIMMY
AAACHOOOOO!
MRS. GREEN
Jimmy, you are getting a cold. I think you’d better forget about the television program and go to bed early.
JIMMY
But, Mom.
MRS. GREEN
No buts about it. Now go to bed.
MR. GREEN
Go, Jimmy.
JIMMY
Goodnight everybody.
WILBUR
(Sneezing from outside) AACHOO!
JIMMY
AHHCHOO! Goodnight Mom and Dad. Don’t let any bears in your bathtub! (He walks to his bedroom. Wilbur and Cindy walk to the edge of the stage)
CINDY
See you tomorrow, Wilbur.
WILBUR
Goodnight Cindy. (Wilbur walks over to where his mother is sitting in the corner of the stage.)
WILBUR
I got a bath, Mom. And I scraped all of the mud off me.
MRS. BEAR
And all of your skin should be washed off too if you washed for this long. You’ve been gone for two hours. Where have you been?
WILBUR
I was taking a bath.
MRS. BEAR
You were taking a bath for two hours? Are you sure about that, Wilbur?
WILBUR
AAHHHCHOOO!
MRS. BEAR
See, you’re getting a cold. That’ll teach you to spend two hours in the creek. Now get to bed and I don’t want to hear another peep out of you.
WILBUR
(Climbs into his bed which is made of cardboard)
AHHHCHOOOO!
Cast
Mrs. Bear
Wilbur Bear
Cindy
Jimmy
Mrs. Green
Mr. Green
(Mother Bear stands in front of Wilbur Bear who is standing in the corner. She shakes her paw at him.)
MOTHER BEAR
Wilbur, you are a naughty little bear. You got mud all over your clothes and your arms and your legs again! You stand in the time out corner and think about it!
WILBUR BEAR
I’ll stay out of the mud, Mama. I promise.
MOTHER BEAR
If you keep your promise you can go out and play.
(Wilbur runs off and meets Cindy and Jimmy who are sitting outside playing)
CINDY
I’m bored, Jimmy. I’m so tired of playing with dolls and doll dishes.
JIMMY
We could play a game of tag.
CINDY
With just two of us? That won’t be very much fun. If we had somebody else to play with us, we could have a fun game of tag.
WILBUR
(Walking over to them)
I’ll play tag with you.
CINDY
You will? Okay, let’s play tag!
JIMMY
Let’s start right now. (He tags Cindy.) You’re it!
CINDY
Hey, that’s not fair. I was still home free.
JIMMY
Too bad. You’re it!
CINDY
Oh, all right.
(She starts chasing Wilbur around and catches him without too much trouble.)
CINDY
Tag! You’re it, Wilbur!
WILBUR
I can’t run as fast as you can, but I’ll try.
(He chases Cindy and Jimmy around but he doesn’t catch them. He runs after them and while he’s running he trips and falls flat on his face.)
WILBUR
Oooof! I fell right in this mud puddle. (He starts to cry) My mother’s going to put me in the time out corner forever. (He cries louder. Cindy and Jimmy try to comfort him.)
CINDY
Maybe she won’t get mad at you, Wilbur.
JIMMY
You can tell her it’s our fault. We’re the ones that asked you to play tag.
CINDY
Tell her it’s my fault. I’m the one who tagged you.
WILBUR
(Sniffing) She won’t listen to me. Look at how dirty and muddy I am.
CINDY
Can’t you take a bath before you go home?
WILBUR
The creek’s so collddd!
JIMMY
Why don’t you come over to my house and take a bath?
CINDY
What will your mom and dad say?
JIMMY
They’re not home right now.
CINDY
Let’s go.
JIMMY
We can go upstairs and Wilbur can take his bath without anybody knowing but us.
WILBUR
Thank you a thousand, million times! (He hugs Jimmy)
JIMMY
Let’s go Wilbur. We don’t have too much time before they get home.
SCENE II
(Wilbur, Cindy, and Jimmy are standing around a big cardboard bathtub)
WILBUR
Wow! What a giant sized bath tub!
JIMMY
It’s big enough to hold my dad.
CINDY
Hurry up and get in, Wilbur.
WILBUR
(Climbing into the bathtub) Ohh, that feels good. The water’s warm and there aren’t any fish ticking my toes!
CINDY
Here’s a wash rag. Can we watch you take a bath, Wilbur? I never saw a bear take a bath before.
JIMMY
Hurry up, will you? Mom and Dad will be here any minute.
WILBUR
Will you wash my back, Jimmy?
JIMMY
Sure Wilbur. (He picks up a giant sized bath brush and scrubs Wilbur’s back.)
WILBUR
Hee, hee, hee, that tickles.
CINDY
You look so funny, Wilbur.
JIMMY
Hurry up, Wilbur. Finish washing. My folks will be coming.
(Jimmy’s mother and father come in at the corner of the stage)
MRS. GREEN
Jimmy, we’re home.
MR. GREEN
Jimmy, where are you?
JIMMY
Oh, no! Be quiet you guys. It’s my Mom and Dad.
(Shouting) I’m up here taking a bath. I’ll be down in a few minutes.
MR. GREEN
Take a thorough bath.
MRS. GREEN
Jimmy, I’m surprised at you. You’ve never taken a bath willingly before. I usually have to force you into the bathtub.
JIMMY
I was awfully dirty, Mom.
MRS. GREEN
Wash well, Jimmy.
JIMMY
I’m washing, Mom.
(Mr. and Mrs. Brown sit in chairs in the corner of the room with their backs to Jimmy, Cindy, and Wilbur. They watch a cardboard TV)
MR. GREEN
Here’s the program we wanted to see. It’s just starting.
MRS. GREEN
Good. (They settle down and watch T.V.)
JIMMY
Hurry, Wilbur. Get out of the tub.
WILBUR
I’m coming.
CINDY
(Whispering) What are we going to do?
JIMMY
We’re going to sneak him down the stairs and out of the front door.
CINDY
How can we do that without your Mom and Dad seeing us?
JIMMY
I don’t know, but we have too. You know what will happen if we caught up here.
(Wilbur climbs out of the tub and dries off with a towel. He pulls on a pair of overalls.)
WILBUR
I’m all ready to go.
JIMMY
Wilbur, tiptoe! Whatever you do, don’t make any noise.
WILBUR
I’ll try not to make any noise.
CINDY
Let’s go.
(They tiptoe across the room door about even with where Mr. and Mrs. Green are. They start to tiptoe past them, but suddenly Mrs. Green turns around. Wilbur, Jimmy, and cindy all duck behind a cardboard box.)
MRS. GREEN
Jimmy, are you finished yet?
JIMMY
I’m drying off, Mom.
MRS. GREEN
Well, hurry up. This is a good television program.
JIMMY
I’m hurrying, Mom.
(Mrs. Green turns back to the television.) Jimmy, Wilbur, and Cindy tiptoe again. They are about to the front door when suddenly Wilbur has to sneeze.)
WILBUR
Aahahahacohoo!
CINDY
(Putting her hand over Wilbur’s nose.) Quit it, Wilbur.
WILBUR
(Whispering) But I have to sneeze. Ah,ah,aha,ah,ah, CHOOOOO!!!
(Mr. and Mrs. Green jump and turn around. Cindy and Wilbur run to the front door and crouch down behind it. Jimmy stays in the middle of the floor and pretends that he is the one who sneezed.)
MRS. GREEN
Jimmy, are you catching cold?
JIMMY
ACHOOOO! I don’t think so, Mom. Something was tickling my nose.
MR. GREEN
Come and watch this program. You said you wanted to see it.
JIMMY
I’m coming. I think I’ll close the front door first. It’s getting cold in here.
MRS. GREEN
That’s a good idea, Jimmy.
(Jimmy goes over to the front door. He opens it for Wilbur and Cindy.)
JIMMY
(Whispering) Hurry up before they turn around again.
CINDY
(Whispering) See you tomorrow.
WILBUR
(Whispering) I’ll come back tomorrow, too.
JIMMY
Good. See your tomorrow.
WILBUR
Uh, uh, I have to sneeze again. AAACHOOOOO!
JIMMY
AAACHOOOOO!
MRS. GREEN
Jimmy, you are getting a cold. I think you’d better forget about the television program and go to bed early.
JIMMY
But, Mom.
MRS. GREEN
No buts about it. Now go to bed.
MR. GREEN
Go, Jimmy.
JIMMY
Goodnight everybody.
WILBUR
(Sneezing from outside) AACHOO!
JIMMY
AHHCHOO! Goodnight Mom and Dad. Don’t let any bears in your bathtub! (He walks to his bedroom. Wilbur and Cindy walk to the edge of the stage)
CINDY
See you tomorrow, Wilbur.
WILBUR
Goodnight Cindy. (Wilbur walks over to where his mother is sitting in the corner of the stage.)
WILBUR
I got a bath, Mom. And I scraped all of the mud off me.
MRS. BEAR
And all of your skin should be washed off too if you washed for this long. You’ve been gone for two hours. Where have you been?
WILBUR
I was taking a bath.
MRS. BEAR
You were taking a bath for two hours? Are you sure about that, Wilbur?
WILBUR
AAHHHCHOOO!
MRS. BEAR
See, you’re getting a cold. That’ll teach you to spend two hours in the creek. Now get to bed and I don’t want to hear another peep out of you.
WILBUR
(Climbs into his bed which is made of cardboard)
AHHHCHOOOO!